funny quotes from years gone by (part 1)

While I am enjoying this summer more than I ever have (if that is possible), I am beginning to miss my precious kids. This group, in particular, was very engaging and hilarious. As I was up at school today, I began looking through my infamous funny quote file. (A couple of years ago I began writing down all of the pricelessly funny things my students say usually just on a scrap of paper or post-it. Well, mounds of paper scraps of hilarity soon began to form so I started a file. The kids love it when they make it to the file and sometimes ask me to go through it with them for a good laugh--but I rarely indulge them in order to keep my mean facade.)

Here are just a few selections from last year.

Brian about a history quiz: "It's about black people so I'll do fine."

Kid A: "How did you know that?"
Me, teeming with sarcasm: "I know all things."
Daniel, in all sincerity: " Me too!"

Fifth grader about Washington DC: "I've been though DC! We saw that big stick."
Me: "That big stick is called the Washington Monument."

Daniel complaining about algebra in study hall: "I'm stuck; what should I do?"
Cesar, always with a clever remark: "Put it in 4-wheel drive!"

About a much anticipated new seating arrangement, Daniel: "After you do that new seating arrangement, can I proof it?"
Me: (laughter)

Shenanigans with tape before.

Shenanigans with tape after--realizing that these shenanigans can cause pain and the loss of eyebrows.