This time of the school year always feels like the last big drop on a roller coaster. Spring Break is the little pause at the top before the final free fall. In the midst of this chaos, things come unhinged: students and teachers included. Here are a few such moments.
Here is an excerpt from a disciplinary conversation from Friday:
Me: Earlier in the week, I expressly warned the entire class that gum was forbidden at school. You were chewing gum, so you will reap the consequences.
Student: I wasn't chewing gum.
Me, in honest astonishment: Really? I caught you with gum in your mouth and you went to spit it out.
Student, completely serious: I wasn't chewing gum. I just had it in my mouth.
Me: Seriously?! You are in seventh grade and
that is your excuse?
I was pretty upset after this little exchange. Then I shared it with a colleague, and she burst out laughing.
My eighth grade students are getting ready for a little party at one of their teacher's homes this weekend. They are so excited to hang out with one another outside of school and especially to have an opportunity to not be seen in their uniforms. As they were planning how all of the necessary preparations were to be made before the party, one boy chimed in: "I'm going to bathe like the Romans" (awkward pause) "And only shower once a year."
Oh, please no.
The construction/layout of the seventh grade lockers begs for trouble to be had. There is an alcove of cubbies hidden from much needed adult supervision. We have nicknamed this alcove the abyss in hopes of instill fear of that secret space. Unfortunately despite repeated warnings, there are children venturing into the abyss and, thus, into mischief. But today was the last straw.
I could not decide whether to cry or laugh every time I walked down this hallway this afternoon. I think the kids felt the same way. Pretty clever though. (Notice the abandoned binder which is probably full of time sensitive material to be turned in tomorrow. Oops.)