teacher = "flogger of urchins"

As I was reading "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" aloud to seventh grade, I laughed when I came across this term that Irving uses to describe the teacher, Ichabod Crane. I thought it quite fitting for some of the activities and conversations that have taken place in my classroom of late.

Quotes from the classroom in recent days:

Me scolding Student A: "Please stop that. That is obnoxious behavior." (I say these words more times than I can count.)
Student B (frequently scolded for her obnoxious behavior): "At least I am not the only one who acts obnoxious in class."
Student A gives Student B the death glare.

Me: "What is the name of the current Vice President? I'll give you a hint: his initials are J B."
Student A: "Justin Bieber!"

Student C practicing her new vocabulary word before a quiz: "Mrs. Freeman, you look very ornate today."

Student B upon finishing Johnny Tremain: "Mrs. Freeman, I can't believe we finished the book. I am going to miss Rab."

Me: "Who were Oliver Cromwell's followers in the English Civil War? Remember? The Cavaliers and the . . . . ?"
Student D: "The Whiteheads!"
The correct answer was Roundheads. She was kind of close. . . I guess.

Me telling a group of girls that they cannot all get a drink at the same time: "Use your common sense."
Student E: "Yeah, use your Thomas Paine!"
(We were about to take a history test over the Declaration of Independence and Revolutionary War in which they needed to know about Thomas Paine's Common Sense.)

After having a photographer in the room, Student B: "Mrs. Freeman, what are they going to do with those pictures because my hair is a hot mess?"
Me: "Well, they are going to put your picture on a billboard."
Student B in alarm: "Really?!"

Upon hearing muffled chatting in study hall, Me: "Ladies, what is going on?"
The Ladies: "She got her pencil stuck in her hair."

After assigning the homework for the evening and beginning a new lesson, Student F holding up a piece of paper: "Mrs. Freeman, this is a how much homework I have and how long I think each assignment will take me. And here are all the things I have to do tonight."
Me: "Are you serious right now?"
Student F lowers his hand and his paper sheepishly.

Answers from the recent history test: (These make me want to cry, but hopefully you will find them funny.)
Q: Who was John Locke?
A: A discoveralist who found Virginia

Q: What was the last state to ratify the Constitution?
A: America

Q: What are the five rights guaranteed in first amendment?
Compilation of different students' answers
A: language, liberty, pursuit of happiness, land